Monday, January 20, 2014

Everyone's a winner here!

So we did not place in the mac and cheese competition this weekend. Mostly I think it's because I went too traditional. Everyone else had foie gras and pork belly and truffle oil in their mac and cheese. Many were not even mac and cheese. They contained noodles and cheese but so many other ingredients I believe they were more casserole like than anything else. It was a fun event though and getting to try to many different things in one day was very exciting. Here is our recipe below in case you want to make it at home.

Sexy Mac

You velveeta lovers don’t know how to mac.

A sensual medley of rugged, bold, and provocative flavors will tantalize your taste buds. Unlike the dairy deviant from Philadelphia, our brand of pasteurized pleasure will leave you melting for more.

This is a spicy, saucy, classic. None of your foie gras or truffle oil shenanigans. Sometimes it’s best to just keep things simple and direct. Like naked jumping jacks.

We used a blend of two high quality sharp cheddar cheeses and a goat gouda from Holland. If you don’t have access to high caliber goat gouda or a nice sturdy cheddar, whatever is leftover from your latest Boggle party will have to suffice.

The sexy supplies you will need are as follows:

1.5 pounds macaroni
1 medium sized onion (grated)
2 cloves garlic (grated)
½ pint of whipping cream
1 lb sharp cheddar cheese
½ lb goat gouda
½ cup milk
½ cup chicken stock
1 tsp grey poupon
1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1 stick of butter
about one cup of flour
salt n pepa to taste
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Bring a large stockpot of water to a boil. Salty like the briny sea. Once it’s boiling add your wee little noodles to the pot. Cook to al dente. If you don’t know what al dente is please see the sexy couple making out in the corner. Drain and place in your baking vessel.

While the noodles are cooking, in a separate pot, melt the butter. Add the flour until you get a nice paste consistency. Once you have cooked the flour to a nice golden brown you may add the garlic, onion, chicken stock, milk, whipping cream, and crushed red pepper. (You may need to add more later depending on how much your wooer enjoys the spice ;-)

Apply gentle heat to bring said ingredients to a dainty simmer; much like you would caress your lover’s nipples upon a Sunday afternoon.

Once rolling gently in anticipation, start to gradually add your heaving mounds of cheese while whisking at a lavish pace. The rugged and mature cheddar, like a seasoned lumberjack, will melt slowly within your vivacious heat. High atop a Dutch mountain, the goat that produced your lustrous gouda, will yodel with delight when the aromatic, intoxicating flavors cross her nostrils.

At this appetizing point you may want to taste your sauce, as you should, because honestly you and your sweet derriere have earned it. Add the salt and pepper you feel that your honey and you would enjoy.

Pour your lush liquid over your pasta, mix, and bake for 15 minutes covered and 15 minutes uncovered to brown the top.

You have concluded your experiment in cooking cuteness now sit back and enjoy the culinary comeuppance.

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